One Word
by Cerbi-Steph
Summary: A series of SasuNaru oneshots. Most of them are fluffy humour induced drabbles. Includes: Naruto in a dress, in leather, and very uke. Hints at various other pairings.
1. Auditions

_**Auditions**_

AN: It's not the best and it's an overly done idea, but I don't care. Most of these stories have probably all been done at some point, but _I don't care. _They were all fun to write and I did it for my friend, and now I'm posting this series of one shots for you guys. Enjoy

Naruto _had _to question Tsunade and Iruka's sanity sometimes. The two had been scheming for a while now, and could constantly be seen talking together. What had brought such a friendship around, no one really knew. Plus the two had been extra careful not to be overheard, causing everyone more questions to arise.

Then _it _happened. The announcement which would change the shinobi's lives. The original 9 genin from Iruka's class were there, even Gai's team had made it.

"Okay, now that I have all of you here, I'm going to tell you your mission," Tsunade was standing in front of all of them, a scarily big smile on her face. Iruka was standing right beside her, a smile on his face also. "There's a big director willing to pay you guys' money if you perform in his play. The two main roles pay more than the supporting characters, and you all have to audition."

Sanity? Obviously the two didn't have any. But that wasn't the worst part of the deal. Oh no, not only did everyone have to audition, but they had a shortage in girls. So, who else got nominated for a girl spot? Well, apparently both Iruka and Tsunade had agreed on Naruto taking the spot. Why? Because he was the shortest and slimmest of all the guys there. Besides, who really wanted _Lee, _as a girl? That was how Naruto's day had gone. He had been nominated as a girl! His pride was mortally wounded. No matter how many times he beat the other ninjas, he would _never _hear the end of it.

The next couple of days everyone practiced their scripts. It was uncanny how much they studied, but their ninja pride would not let them fail. It was just another competition for them, another way to prove they were better than the others in some way or another. Although Naruto was against the part originally, he still couldn't bring himself to half-ass the play. Something deep within him wanted him to get the league. That might have been Iruka's taunts though. The teacher had convinced Naruto on how much ramen the kid could buy if he got the lead, and had promised his student an all paid trip to Ichiraku. The way to Naruto's heart? His stomach.

Then the audition day came along, and there was no way the director was taking it easy on them. The director had ordered that everyone be fully dressed and ready like they were going to act for real. Naruto had been in the change room all day, and was very embarrassed as he walked on stage. All of the guys had been ready for a while, but all heads raised to eye the blonde.

What met them was a very cute image, and many of their fantasies come true.

Naruto's hair had been flattened down against his head, headband gone, mascara, hint of eyeliner, and deep crimson colour on his cheeks, but that was nothing compared to what he was wearing. The blonde was sporting a very old fashioned dress. It was a red colour and was tight at the top half, but puffy at the bottom. It was considered a pretty dress for girls, but on Naruto, it just looked _adorable._

"Oy dobe. You sure you're a guy? You suit that dress too much," Sasuke taunted, not really realizing he had complimented the blonde. Naruto had, and it caused him to go into a deep blush colour, it matched his dress.

"Shut up teme!!!" he yelled, glaring at the avenger with his best heated glare. It seemed to lose it's effect though. Who could take Naruto seriously wearing _that, _anyways? Certainly not the other boys, they were too busy enjoying the view. That was when a young adult female walked in, with Tsunade in tow.

"Aw!!! You're so cute! I can see why Tsunade-sama picked you!" squealed the girl, pinching the blonde's cheeks. She did note the jealous gazes she got, but stored it away somewhere in her brain.

"And who are you?" Neiji was as blunt as usual, his expression was somewhere between irritated and mad. The girl stood up straight and gave them all a thumbs up and a brilliant grin. Gai and Lee were in love.

"I would be the director! Now we're going to get the auditions on the way as soon as the girls are here," oh yes, the other gender. Many of the boys didn't care, they were just happy Naruto was there. "I'm going to pair you off to a girl, or boy," at the boy part, she gave Naruto the most mischievous smile grin she could muster. "You will practice together for an hour, then present it to me. If I don't like the pairing, then I'll pair you up with someone else and get you to perform again. Simple as that."

Then she was gone, probably to describe the happenings to the girls. The boys however, stood in an awkward silence. Well, awkward in Naruto's case. The others were just enjoying themselves, staring at the fidgeting kyuubi. He could bring himself to look up at any of them, so they just stood there until the girls came, and soon the auditions were underway.

The guys were all in rather casual wear, a button up (or down in some cases) shirt and loose pants. The girls, and Naruto, were all dressed up in some outstanding dress. Obviously the director preferred dressing up girls, and dressing down guys.

At first Naruto was paired with Kiba, which did not turn out very well. Every time the Inuzuka looked at Naruto, he'd start giggling, which caused Naruto to blush and yell at him to concentrate. By the time the hour was done, they had only gone through the lines once.

"I'm doomed... bye ramen..." the blonde muttered to himself, a very gloomy expression on his face. The two got called up first, the director practically beaming in her chair.

"Oh, go ahead Naru-chan! I'm sure you'll be great!" came the encouraging shout from the girl. The statement just seemed to make Naruto go an even deeper red. Why couldn't he be taller? Or why couldn't Konoha have more girls? The two turned to each other, for once, Kiba's expression was serious as they started the lines.

"Why did you betray me, Takuto?" Naruto wasn't making it overly dramatic, he just refused to. He refused to look at Kiba, and tried his best to look hurt. Kiba however, not seeing the blonde like this usually, actually had a guilty look on his face.

"I'm sorry... but I had to go. If I had a choice, I would never leave you," Kiba's voice seemed to reflect a tone of sincerity, but the director just didn't feel it.

"Okay! Kiba-kun, could you go pair up with the short haired girl with white eyes? Hinata was it?" she asked, cutting into the serious scene. He nodded, just leaving the stage silently.

"Oy, Sasuke-kun! Get up here!" she yelled louder, facing the side of the stage. Naruto couldn't help but avert his eyes. There was no way he would do this with his rival. It wasn't long after he had brought him back to Konoha. Saying such lines was too... real. Sasuke however, showed little emotion on his face, just staring at Naruto blankly. "Okay! Start from the top!"

"Why did you betray me, Takuto?" this time around, the blonde was more or less looking at Sasuke with a look of anger and sadness. These lines were close to heart. He had never actually confronted Sasuke about what had happened over the last 4 years. Naruto had brought him back and never had talked about it again. It was almost nice to let it all out.

"I'm sorry..." this time Sasuke looked away. He was having the similar problems Naruto was. Was this how the blonde really felt? Was this his emotions running through the lines of the play? "I had to go." Naruto looked away as well. Neither could look at each other in the eyes. "If I had a choice... I would never leave you," Naruto refused to look at Sasuke. The words made his heart beat faster, and he felt sick all of a sudden. Sasuke however, was looking at Naruto with a longing emotion showing through his eyes.

"I was hurt Takuto... I missed you..." Naruto turned around to face Sasuke anyways, looking him in the eyes. Sasuke saw the sadness in those blue eyes, and it hurt him deeply to see them in that state. In the back of his mind, he made a mental note to never ever hurt the blonde again, brother or not. The Uchiha very gently held Naruto's whiskered cheeks in his hands, giving the kyuubi a very guilty gaze.

"I missed you too... my lover," the last bit rolled off Sasuke's tongue _way _too easy. How long had he fantasized saying those two words to Naruto. But never had he imagined him saying them in this kind of situation. Both gazed into each others eyes, both trying to read the others' emotions. They both leaned in, their lips were just millimetres away from each other.

"And cut! Man you guys were awesome! You made it feel so... real! I knew you were going to be amazing, Naru-chan! Sasuke-kun, you surprised me!" the director let out a loud laugh. Sasuke however, was not amused. He was _so _close. It just wasn't _fair. _Naruto, however, had noticed just what he was about to do.

"Aiya!!! Teme!" he yelled, running off the stage, a very deep crimson on his cheeks. Sasuke let out a sigh, how was he supposed to explain this one? He too walked off the stage in a huff, leaving behind a very happy director.

"I know who I want to be the leads. Get the others to perform... I still need supporting characters after all..."

A few days later, the results were posted on a billboard outside of the Hokage's office.

"What!?!? How did Naruto get the female lead role!?!? He's not even a _female_!!" the enraged yells could be heard half way across Konoha. On top of the Hokage monument, Naruto sneezed.

"I have a bad feeling..."


	2. Curiosity

_**Curiosity**_

Curiosity killed the cat, wasn't that the saying Iruka had constantly told him? In this case, it might kill the kyuubi. Naruto had been tagged as the loudest ninja in the village, but he was very, _very,_ curious. Ever since that day in the academy, he had wondered endlessly. Eventually he turned around and faced Sasuke.

"Teme, are you thankful for that clumsy kid in the front row?" he asked out loud. He wasn't sure what he had been thinking lately, well, he knew most of his thoughts centered around the brooding rival.

"What are you talking about dobe?" was the reply. Naruto wasn't surprised, it had been quite a while since then.

"The academy! You know that day we... we..." the way Naruto was stuttering, people would have thought they had done more than just lock lips. The statement seemed to awaken Sasuke though, as a small smile (or was that a smirk?) appeared on his face.

"Of course not dobe!" blue eyes darted back to the pavement. Of _course _Sasuke wouldn't be grateful. Who would want to kiss the stupid, annoying blonde anyways? Thought processes were immediately stopped when fingers forced Naruto to look up into Sasuke's charcoal coloured eyes. "I would have much rather kissed you in other circumstances."

It was the last thing he said before his lips ever so gently brushed against Naruto's.

Naruto was _very _thankful to that kid. He had given him his first two kisses from Sasuke, and he could certainly get used to that.


	3. Dobe

_**Dobe**_

After an S class mission, Naruto was dead beat. In fact, he had been so tired that he had slept for two weeks non stop. A couple of icy stares from a rather irritated Sasuke was all it took for people to go against waking up the blonde. The stoic nin walked back and forth in front of the door. Every time he went in to wake Naruto, he got distracted. Sun coloured hair fell randomly over tanned, whiskered cheeks. His mouth was slightly open and they way the blonde gripped at the sheets….

Yes, Sasuke got _very _distracted whenever he got in the room. So he resolved to stalking outside of the door so no one could spot his little Naru-chan looking so cute like that. His thoughts were immediately interrupted by a loud scream. In record time, Sasuke kicked down the door (forgetting about something called a handle. Or maybe it took longer to open that way?) and stormed into the room.

"What's wrong?!" he yelled, eyes darting around the room. When he noticed there was no danger, he gave an annoyed glace at the blonde. It disappeared in seconds as his gaze landed on a watery eyed Naruto.

"Sasuke… I think there's something wrong with me!" he whined. The kyuubi container was sitting up but staring at his stomach, Sasuke didn't blame him for that one though.

"What's wrong dobe?" he asked, now quite disinterested with the subject. There were many things wrong with the idiot, but it was those imperfections that made Sasuke fall in love.

"Y…. y… You know how we did _that _recently?" he shyly poked his fingers together in an exact reproduction of Hinata's bad habit. Sasuke's eyebrow rose at the blonde's statement. _That? _What in all of Konoha was he talking about? After noticing the blush on whiskered cheeks, he knew.

"How could I forget, dobe? What about it?" his voice had lost his usual edge, it probably had something to do with the dreamy gaze on his face. How _could _Sasuke forget? It was probably the best thing that ever happened to him. His flashback was quickly cut out by another comment from Naruto.

"IthinkI'mpregnant!" it was all let out in a rushed breath and Sasuke had a hard time understanding it at first. Because of his superior intellect, and his experience with Naruto, he quickly picked it up though.

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke didn't know what to feel. Confused? Amused? In complete shock from Naruto's stupidity? He decided on the last one.

"See, my stomach has grown!" Naruto lifted up his shirt, and there was a slight bump in the kyuubi container's stomach. In the slightest, Sasuke was a little worried, and maybe a little happy. What if the kyuubi was really a girl, and had mutated in some way to allow Naruto to get pregnant? Maybe his clan wasn't doomed after all. Some how he managed to keep his cool, and think some what properly.

"Let's go see Tsunada-sama, she'll know what's going on," yes, Sasuke was proud of his answer. It was sensible and smart. Sasuke gave himself a mental pat on the back. Without a second thought, the two got up and left the blonde's apartment and towards the Hokage office.

"Tsunada-baba!" Naruto shouted as soon as he entered the building. Sasuke had casually draped his arm over the blonde's shoulders, emotion void on his face. The only reason for that though, was because he was thinking deeply about the situation. A part of him was happy, the other half wanted to jump the blonde. The second part was always there though, so he didn't pay it much heed.

"I told you to stop calling me such disrespectful names you brat!" Tsunade yelled back, a vein now pulsing on her forehead. It wasn't unusual to see the number one hyperactive ninja in her office, Sasuke was a surprise though. He usually preferred to stand outside the door, not wanting to get involved in the conversation. "So, what's on your minds?"

The two looked at each other. Tsunade was slightly worried about the sheepish look Naruto gave her. Scratch that, very worried once Sasuke got a far away look in his eyes.

"Tsunade... IthinkI'mpregnant," the phrase was said at the exact pace that he had told Sasuke, very fast. Like Sasuke, Tsunada had gotten used to the rushing statements. Tsunade then went through many emotions, just like Sasuke. Should she actually _want _to know? Should she fall on the ground laughing? She had no idea.

"What?" that pretty much summed up everything.

"See! My tummy has gotten bigger! That never happens!" Naruto had a slight whiney tone to his voice, there was no way he had thought about waking up like this. There was a moment of silence. What were you supposed to say in a moment like this?

"Well... let me check brat," was said after a long, long, long moment of silence. So Naruto was brought to the Konoha hospital, Sasuke following close behind, making sure to glare at anyone who even glanced at Naruto. Tsunade dragged Naruto into a room, and slammed the door in Sasuke's face.

The next 15 minutes caused Sasuke to wonder what was going on. Of course he would stay cool and continue to lean against the wall. It was in his personality after all. Another 15 minutes went by, and he was starting to check off names for the possible kid. He had eliminated a whole bunch until he got a top 10 for boys, and a top 10 for girls.

The names were scratched off the list when a giggling Tsunade burst through the doors. With an eyebrow raised, the stoic nin didn't know if he wanted to ask or not. He had no idea what the laughing meant, it could go either way. It could mean that Naruto had some how defied nature and had actually gotten pregnant... or that she was laughing at something else.

"You brats are funny!" she continued to laugh, which seemed to bring out a very curious Naruto. His hair was even more messed up than usual, his blue eyes bright with question.

"Nah nah... Tsunade-baba... so am I.. am I..." he couldn't bring himself to say it. Tsunade's laughing just got even louder.

"You've been sleeping for two weeks Naruto. Your body is used to lots of exercise..." she had to stop talking to let out yet another fit of giggles and laughs. "You've just... you've just... gotten fat!" that was the last logical thing they got out of the Hokage before she walked out of the hospital, still laughing her head off.

Naruto was mad, he didn't get _fat. _He also stalked off, but with a rather large pout on his tanned face.

And Sasuke? He was just a little disappointed.


	4. Talk

_**Talk**_

[Can be seen as a sequel to Dobe

Iruka had never been so awkward in his whole entire life. When the orange clad ninja walked into the classroom, he smiled warmly at him, as always. Iruka had thought of Naruto as a son, and he always welcomed the blonde to talk to him. But never had he been expecting this.

"Iruka... I want to have a baby with Sasuke! But every time I bring it up he starts laughing at me!" came the whiney complaint. Iruka had to take a quick retake. What had his pupil _just say? _Instantly his mind went to blame Jiraiya and Kakashi, they probably brought such behaviour from Naruto. Well, being the only fatherly figure in his life, he felt that he should share his knowledge with Naruto.

"Well you see Naruto... I'm going to tell you about the birds and the bees... or the bees and the bees in your case..." Naruto listened very intently, wanting to know why his koibito always laughed at him when he brought up the subject.

When Iruka finished, the blonde was in a state of shock.

"Oh. Is that why Tsunade-baba gave me the adoption idea?"

Iruka didn't know what to say to that.


	5. Leather

_**Leather**_

Usually, seeing Naruto in such dress would send Sasuke over the edge. _Usually _being the key word. What bothered him, was where he got it. He had practically followed Naruto around everywhere for the last two weeks. There was no way he could go out and buy something like that without Sasuke noticing. Besides, the Uchiha knew that Naruto had exactly 137 yen in his frog wallet account at the moment.

"Naruto... not that I'm complaining... but where did you get that outfit?" he had to ask. He couldn't help it. It wasn't something Naruto would usually wear.

"Eto... it came in a package!" he replied innocently, closing his eyes to give Sasuke a foxy grin. Uchiha's eyebrow twitched.

"So, you just opened it and wore it around?" the statement was enlaced with disbelief. Sometimes the pure stupidity of the blonde exceeded Sasuke's expectations sometimes.

"Well... yeah. I like it. They fit like a charm too," the grin did not leave the blonde's face. But he didn't really need to say it, Sasuke _knew _it fit. When Naruto turned away to leave, Sasuke noticed a huge Uchiha fan on the back.

With a huge I on it.

Eyebrows twitched and a vein popped out on the younger Uchiha's head. 'I don't know whether to kill Itachi... or thank him...' After a very short time of thinking, Sasuke came to a conclusion.

'It's okay. I'll easily replace the I with an S...' Sasuke didn't noticed he had been following the blonde from a far until he realised how much he was really ogling his behind.

'Ah... leather certainly suits you... Naru-chan... I wonder if you'll wear something I send you in a present?'


	6. Pet

_**Pet**_

It was a quiet day in Konoha. Nothing interesting had been happening, so most of the cells were at home. Team 7 had been given a day off from training and missions, a very rare moment indeed. Naruto and Sasuke were in the blonde's apartment, just sitting around and enjoying each others company. They would never admit it to each other of course, but they enjoyed the comfortable silences they shared.

Then a faint scratching was heard at the door. Naruto out of curiosity, got up and opened the door. Just to be greeted by no one. His eyes scanned down until he spotted a very small fox, instantly his expression lightened up.

"Awww!" Naruto squatted down so he was closer to the animal. It was a deep red colour, but black could be found on it's paws and nose, a small patch of white tipped the end of it's tail. Being the kyuubi vessel, he couldn't help but pick up the fox and take it inside, kicking the door shut as he walked back to Sasuke. "Sasuke! Isn't it cute?"

Sasuke eyed the animal. It was stupid, but he didn't like the fox. It was close to _his _Naruto. It was taking Naruto's attention _away _from him. No, he did not like the animal at all.

"It's a wild creature. It should be outside dobe," came the curt reply. He didn't keep his eyes off the creature, which seemed _way _too comfortable pressed against the blonde's chest. Sasuke almost saw the give him a cocky smirk. The Uchiha did _not _like that fox.

"Oy oy! It was scratching on the door! Maybe it needs me Sasuke! What if it's hungry?" Naruto looked down at the small fox, which in turn looked back up at Naruto. "He just needs some love teme." Right after that statement, said fox started to rub against the blonde, his muzzle right up against whiskered cheeks. When the animal reached a pink tongue and ran it across Naruto's cheek, Sasuke had had enough.

He stood up, picked the fox up by the scruff of it's neck, and then threw it outside the door, slamming it right behind him. Then he turned back to the dobe with a huge scowl on his face. He had decided. That animals were hateful creatures, and he especially hated foxes. Well... not Naruto.

Outside however, the fox sat, staring at the door. A smirk visible on it's features. A poof of smoke appeared, and where the fox was, Kiba now sat.

"Ah... henge is a great technique..." the canine couldn't wipe the smile off his face for days, and no one could figure out why.


End file.
